The Shame of Money: Rewriting the Story We Tell Ourselves

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"Money doesn't grow on trees."

"Don't talk about money—it's rude."

"You should be better with your finances by now."

Sound familiar?

Many of us carry invisible weights when it comes to money. Guilt. Embarrassment. Fear. Even shame. But where did that shame come from, and is it actually serving us?

Spoiler alert: it's not.

Let's unpack the roots of money shame, explore how different cultures view money, and discover how we can shift into a healthier, more empowered relationship with our finances, no matter our current bank balance.

A (Brief) History of Money Shame

How we feel about money today is deeply entangled with our collective past.

In early Western society, particularly under Victorian and Puritan influence, poverty was considered a moral failing. If you had money, it meant you were hardworking and blessed. If you didn't, you probably weren't trying hard enough. This idea was further reinforced by capitalism's rise in the Industrial Age, which tied personal worth directly to productivity and accumulation. Increased wealth then brought you a higher position in society.

Fast forward to today: these old ideas are still lurking in the background. When we experience financial hardship, many of us internalise it as a reflection of our shortcomings—when, in reality, financial struggles are often the result of systemic issues, rising living costs, stagnant wages, and even plain bad luck.

According to the Australian Psychological Society, money is the leading cause of stress for Australians, more than our health or dismantled relationships. And yet, we don't talk about it. We whisper. We hide. We swipe our cards and pretend everything's fine.

But not all cultures treat money this way…

Different Cultures, Different Money Stories

In many Indigenous communities, for example, money is not tied to self-worth; it's a tool for collective wellbeing. Wealth, when accumulated, is often redistributed or used to support extended family and community. There is less individual shame about 'not having enough' and more focus on shared responsibility.

In parts of Asia, such as China, the concept of face can influence money conversation. Money is often discussed in terms of status or family honour. However, it's also openly talked about, negotiated, and even gifted generously during life milestones like weddings or New Year.

In Scandinavian countries, where government support and open conversations about money are more common, there is less stigma attached to financial help. The idea of using resources to make life easier, without guilt, is far more normalised.

So, what can we learn from these global perspectives?

Rewriting the Narrative

The truth is, money is neutral. It's not good. It's not bad. It's just a resource. A tool. Like water or fire, it can nourish or burn depending on how we use it. Your financial position now is a reflection of your past decisions. Not now. 

Shame, on the other hand, is a blocker. It stops us from asking for help, learning new habits, or making confident decisions. It keeps us stuck repeating old patterns.

Here's how to shift your money mindset from shame to strength:

1. Talk about it

Even just acknowledging 'I'm feeling stressed about money' is a powerful first step. Talk to someone you trust. Say it out loud. Journal it. Money doesn't like secrecy.

2. Learn without judgment

No one is born knowing how to budget, save, or navigate compound interest. We learn as we go. It's okay to make mistakes and grow from them. You are not 'bad with money', you're learning. Change how you speak to yourself.

3. See success differently

Success doesn't have to look like a six-figure salary and a perfectly curated investment portfolio. Maybe success is paying rent on time. Perhaps it's saying no to debt. Maybe it's choosing financial tools that give you breathing room when you need it, like Beforepay's Pay Advance, which gives you access to funds from your pay when life hits unexpectedly.

4. Be open to abundance

Let go of the story that there's 'never enough.' When you approach your finances with openness, even small wins feel expansive. A $15 credit at a store. A $50 saving. A $200 refund. A clever grocery swap. These little shifts add up to a more abundant mindset and, often, a more abundant bank balance, too.

You Deserve Financial Ease

You are not your bank account. You are not your past decisions. You are not a dollar figure on a screen.

Re-read that.

You are worthy of safety, choice, and dignity, whether you're saving for your next goal or simply trying to make it through the month. Beforepay was built to help bridge those moments. Pay Advance exists not to 'bail you out, but to put you back in control, with a bit more breathing space to handle life on your terms.

Let's drop the shame. 

Let's reclaim the conversation. Let's remember: money is here to serve you. Not the other way around.

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